Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
