jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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