I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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