By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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