Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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