I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
