allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
