you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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