i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
