She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
