Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize