one might say we're banned from that church
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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