I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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