I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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