How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
