Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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