He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
