When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
