Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize