oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
