party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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