I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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