We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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