:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
