Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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