i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
