I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
