I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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