Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
