finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
