I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
