Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
