she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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