Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
