dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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