Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
