On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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