Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Terrible idea I love it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
