The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
