Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
