Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
