What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
