It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So much Jack, so little girl.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
