I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
bring money and cleavage
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize