whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
