is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
