Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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