Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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