She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
