We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
