Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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