so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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