You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
