i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
