Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
