dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
