She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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