This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
