I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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