I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
