so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
