She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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