I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
