Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
this is an emotional support booty call
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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