The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
