Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
