I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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