took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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