Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
